An Election About Life and Death and Love

This election is of vital importance. 

For the first time, the President of the United States came out in favor of same-sex marriage. I was beyond excited when Obama gave voice to an affirmation that resonated around the globe (see my blogpost about my enthusiasm and reservations about his statements here). This was huge, massive even. It was a giant leap toward equality. 

But in this election, the progress I've fought for--that we've fought for--could be taken away from us. And, astonishingly, there's been next to nothing from either presidential campaign about LGBTQ equality. The presidential candidates had a debate on domestic issues, and yet the millions of LGBTQ Americans without rights were not even mentioned. It's time to make the case for a President that believes in LGBTQ equality.

This election is of vital importance. 

I could talk about how I disagree with Mitt Romney's views on women's rights, the environment, healthcare, and education for hours. I could explain how I agree with major components of Obama's platform for a few more hours. But right here, I'm only going to delve into an extremely personal issue for me: marriage equality. 

This election is of vital importance.  I have friends tell me it's all a bunch of political "BS," that real change won't ever happen, that it's not worth voting, that it won't make a real difference for people who is president.


But they're so wrong. This election is about whether my sister will have access to equal marriage rights within the next four years. This is tangible, this is real, but it's also not just about my sister.

It's about millions of people. It's about the kids with lesbian or gay parents, it's about hospital visitation, it's about tax benefits, it's about bullying to the point of suicide, it's about partner healthcare benefits, it's about access to first-time home buyer programs, it's about veterans' partner benefits, it's about societal acceptance. It's about the 1,138 benefits or rights of marriage (as calculated in 2003 by the US General Accountability Office) that gay and lesbian couples have unequal access to. 

This election is of vital importance. It's about what these candidates stand for, and how they're going to serve all of the citizens of this country.

Gov. Mitt Romney

Insensitive:

• "I didn't know you had families."
• Thinks Don't Ask Don't Tell was effective. Although, he has disagreed with himself on this issue. 

Ignorant:

• "Some gays are actually having children born to them... It's not right on paper. It's not right in fact. Every child has a right to a mother and a father."

Dangerous:

• Blocked a Massachusetts bullying guide for public schools because it contained the words "transgender" and "bisexual."
• Vetoed hate crime prevention in Massachusetts, doesn't see any need for additional anti-discrimination laws, and his running mate voted against the Matthew Shepherd Hate Crimes Prevention Act. 

Don't forget how dangerous and prevalent LGBTQ bullying is. This is an extremely significant issue, and to be against hate crime and bullying prevention can have incredibly dire results.

Unconstitutional:

• Says he would support a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage. 

Backward:

Keep in mind that Gov. Romney is trying to sound much more moderate than his actions have shown he is. Please explore the bullet points above to fully understand his views. Also, unlike what he implies in the above video, he does not support further nondiscrimination policies, national equal rights initiatives, bullying prevention if it includes transgender individuals, and holds contempt for same-sex parents. I don't know what "gay rights" he is in favor of, but supporting a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage makes it pretty clear where he stands. 

President Barack Obama

In terms of what Obama has done, I outlined a more detailed report on this blog post, but to sum it up:

• Supports and has enacted bullying prevention programs that includes LGBTQ people.
• Made hate crimes against LGBTQ people a federal offense. 
• Supports same-sex marriage (with some reservations).
• Supports LGBTQ human rights initiatives around the globe.
• Declared the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional

Forward:

The next President will continue to make important decisions about marriage rights, LGBTQ people in the military, bullying and hate crime prevention, and perhaps most importantly, will have the opportunity to nominate justices to the Supreme Court who will continue to impact these kinds of decisions long into the future. If Obama is reelected, I truly believe that in four years we will either have marriage equality or will be a lot closer to it. After the first four years, we sure are closer to marriage equality than ever before. 

This election is of vital importance. Get to the polls, and get everyone you know to the polls. This is an extremely personal issue for me. I've seen the beginnings of real change, and I do not want to go backwards.

I mean, come on America. This is about life and death and love. It's unacceptable to be on the sidelines. Vote for equality.

Your vote will matter for millions of school children with two moms or two dads who don't understand why the world says their mommies or daddies can't get married, why their family is wrong. It will matter for the teen contemplating suicide because their society rejects their identity. It will matter for the same-sex couple who has been together for thirty years, and cannot understand why they are labeled as a sinful "other" undeserving of equal rights.

This election is about life and death and love.

So. Let's go forward. 

-JJC

In Case Anyone Forgot About (Love)

This is what love looks like:

Married 2011

Married 1992

My Grandparents, Married 1952

Married 2005 (actually a civil partnership)

Married 2008 (but without federal rights)

Together since the '90s (but unmarried because of inequality)

My Sister, Coco Lam, and Casey Watson, To Be Married July 14th, 2012! (will they have equal rights?)

Happy Day After Valentine's Day 

Shouldn't we all get to (love) without (parentheses)?

That Old Slippery Slope Argument (VIDEOS)

If we allow gay people to get married, what's to stop us from accepting a man with a horse? A woman and a 10-year-old boy? A man and a rock? A woman with a starfish?

This is an argument we've heard over, and over, and over. 

Many people don't know how to counter the argument at first. Those of us who know gay and lesbian couples can't even fathom how to explain that how love between two people is different from bestiality and pedophilia. I can't quite make the jump that two loving, consenting people marrying each other could lead to these things. To me, the following argument makes about as much sense as the slippery slope argument:

"If we let women vote, the next thing you know we'll all be walking around naked!"

But, many people truly believe that LGBT people put society at risk. So, in a concise manner, I've decided to counter those old ideas that people still believe.

• If we let men marry men and women marry women, pedophilia, polygamy, bestiality, and people having sex with rocks will come next.

Just like the video mentioned above, marriage and sex is between two consenting adults. Children, animals, and rocks cannot consent to these things. It seems like more of a plateau than slippery slope to me.

• Children are not safe with LGBTQ people.

Is Cinderella a part of the "straight pedophile movement," then?

Children are just as safe with LGBTQ people as with straight people. LGBTQ people are not more likely to be pedophiles than straight people. We see lesbian and gay couples and immediately think about sexuality... but what we should be thinking about is relationships. We have got to stop thinking about LGBTQ people in different terms than straight people. Really, there isn't as much of a difference as we think.

• God has punished LGBTQ people with HIV/AIDS.

Being gay does not make a person more susceptible to HIV/AIDS, unsafe sex and dirty needles do. People always complain about the evil "behaviors" of LGBT people. Like I said earlier, straight people can contract HIV/AIDS the same way that gay people can: unsafe sex and dirty needles, or perhaps even a blood transfusion from back before donors were screened.

• Lesbians and gays should not be allowed to adopt because children need a mother and a father. 

"Mother" and "father" are social roles we have created for ourselves, not necessarily biological ones. This idea comes from the fact that we need to learn our gender roles from our parents. This is such an old idea: would you believe that I learned to cook from my father and my mom pays all the bills? Children need role models for how to become good people, not for how to fulfill old fashioned gender roles. It's more important for a child to have a healthy, happy, loving couple as their parents than for each parent to have different genitalia than the other. There are so many kids who need homes, and so many healthy families that would be willing to give them one. This one is a no brainer for me.

• LGBT people are unnatural. 

A quick Google search led me to this news article which claims that at least 1500 species "practice" homosexuality in nature. Lesbian and gay people can live many different lives, just like straight people. They may like to go to those stereotypical gay bars (I sure know a lot of straight people like to go to "straight" bars) or they may be in their pajamas by 8 pm.

They may be artists or engineers or accountants or actors, just like straight people. "The gays" make imperfect parents and people, just like "the straights." I'm really tired of pointing fingers talking about "those gay people" like they're some sort of "other."

"They" are, simply put, a part of "us." And it's time we start thinking about it that way.  

We're all people.

Respectfully, and always hopefully,

Jaime J. Coon, Ally

Stephen Colbert Breaks Character for LGBTQ

Comedian Stephen Colbert of the Comedy Central's "Colbert Report" broke character this week to tell LGBTQ youths that life gets better.

This came the same week that same-sex marriages began taking place in New York and the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell was finalized.

Our change is gonna come.

Increased LGBTQ Acceptance - New Polls

Two new Gallup polls show that LGBTQ acceptance is growing in the United States. I'm excited. I'm excited that we have a pro-LGBTQ President, that people are being educated, that actual change is happening. I know we have a long way to go, but it would be great if legal improvements could be supported by cultural improvements.

This year, 53% of Americans said they were in favor of same-sex marriage and 64% of Americans said same-sex "relations" should be legal.

I'm ready for those numbers to take a big jump. I'd love to see percentages in the 80s and 90s. What do you think? Is that day coming soon?


While it's great that LGBTQ equality is becoming more accepted, it's important to remember that violence, hate, and ignorance still exist (you really should click that last link).

Video: Gays Are Nazis

I've been called a socialist, communist, Nazi, prostitute, fascist, dumb blonde, drug dealer, and brainwashed teenager before (mostly via online anonymous comments on articles I've written like this). How have I elicited such anger from my online peers? I'm a liberal leaning person living in a community with foundations in the far right, and though I try not to be bombastic or forceful, I'm definitely not ashamed.

I'm not surprised that people leave online comments like the above. It's not right, but it's the nature of the internet. Anyone online with an opinion of any kind is targeted.

This video, however, did surprise me. Bryan Fischer, a prominent leader in a national family organization, makes ridiculous claims against "the homosexuals." This is no anonymous comment. This is an individual who is followed by many other people. This person, therefore, has a greater ability to hurt others, and he is wielding this power.

(via Right Wing Watch)

"The homosexual agenda is just like Islam: there is no room for dissent, there is no room to leave, once you're in, you can't leave. Muslims won't let you leave, homosexuals won't let you leave - if you leave, they claim you're faking it, so there's no way out. There's no freedom of choice, there's no freedom of religion - if you have religious views about homosexual behavior, you are squashed.

I mean, ladies and gentlemen, they are Nazis. Homosexual activists, when it comes to freedom of speech, are Nazis. When it comes to freedom of religion, they are Nazis. There is no room in their world dissent, there is no room in their world for disagreement, there is no room in their world for criticism. You criticize homosexual behavior, they tag you as a bigot and a homophobe and then they got to work to silence you just like the Roman Catholic Church did in the days of Galileo - it's no different; it's the Spanish Inquisition all over again.

Ladies and gentlemen, they are Nazis. Do not be under any illusions about what homosexual activists will do with your freedoms and your religion if they have the opportunity. They'll do the same thing to you that the Nazis did to their opponents in Nazi Germany."

Bryan Fischer, the man spouting off that homosexual activists are Nazis bent on taking over the world, is the Director of Issues Analysis for the American Family Association (an anti-gay organization identified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center). Fischer is known for saying that no mosques should be built in the US (read this article at your own risk of elevated blood pressure). He is also notorious for comments and more comments connecting homosexuals to Hitler to Don't Ask Don't Tell (read more about Hitler's sexuality here).

There is so much wrong with his above statement, I almost don't even know where to begin.

One thing is clear to me, thought. Bryan Fischer has not known the people I have. My sister, with her partner and two daughters, they're Nazis? The nice gay couple that lived down the street from me, together for decades, Nazis? A gay friend of a friend who is joining the Navy to fight for his country, a Nazi?


Really?


Bryan Fischer said, "Do not be under any illusions about what homosexual activists will do with your freedoms and your religion if they have the opportunity." No, Fischer. I just have one thing to say to you:

It is not your rights they're after. They just want their own.

And guess what else? "They" are a part of "us." "They" are people - grandmothers, couples, fathers, brothers, sisters, uncles, mothers, neighbors, friends - just like anyone else. And "we" all deserve equal rights.

"Kill the Gays" Bill Shelved-For Now

You may not be surprised to learn that Uganda has been considering an anti-homosexuality bill. However, you probably would be surprised to learn that the death penalty for gay people is a part of this bill. When I heard about this, I was outraged. However, even I was surprised to learn that the death penalty for gay individuals is not limited to Uganda, but is the law of the land in seven countries. 

Uganda's "Kill the Gays" bill was first introduced by David Bahati in October of 2009 (pictured below). The death penalty would be used for people who have been convicted of homosexuality more than once, are HIV-positive, or have sex with someone under 18 of the same sex. The bill would also prohibit the "promotion of homosexuality,"and would imprison for life those married to a person of the same-sex. Anyone who knew of a gay person would be required to report them, or face prosecution themselves. Bahati has said that a new version of the bill does not include the death penalty, but no new version of the bill has been released. 

This bill has been connected by Rachel Maddow of MSNBC and others to an American group called "The Family." (I discussed this issue earlier this year after David Kato, a prominent gay Ugandan, was murdered).

It's clear Uganda has an acceptance problem. What has been up in the air is whether Uganda has a big, gigantic legal problem. 

If the bill, or a version of it, would pass, Uganda would not be alone in this human rights violation. There are seven other countries that have the death penalty of gay people (source: Wikipedia). 

                                            

On Friday, after reports that the bill would be voted on that day, the Ugandan parliament adjourned without taking any action on the "Kill the Gays" bill. This means that, for this session at least, the bill is dead. 

Over 2 million people around the world had signed online petitions protesting the "Kill the Gays" bill. Allout.org is one of those organizations that is celebrating this as a victory, but is also insisting on the importance of continued attentiveness and dedication to LGBTQ equality (see video below).

Unfortunately, the bill may not be dead forever. There's an extreme lack of LGBT acceptance in Uganda. The bill could be reintroduced next session. In fact, David Bahati has already said he is planning to reintroduce it. 

It's important that we continue to be vigilant, and protest when individuals or governments are unjust, especially when the groups being discriminated against are those lacking voice. It's also important to remember that just because gay people won't be killed by the Ugandan government, it doesn't mean they are free. 

Making Colleges LGBTQ Safe Zones

I've been published... elsewhere! Grand Central Magazine has posted an alternate version of a blog I wrote earlier this month. I rewrote it to make it more college/Central Michigan University oriented. Check out this link to see it online, and here is the post in it's entirety:

People who know me well know that conversations with me frequently turn to LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) rights issues. Last week, I was having one of my ubiquitous passionate outbursts about the way ignorance and hate leads to violence for LGBT people, when the person I was talking to shrugged it off.

“I really don’t think it’s a big deal anymore,” they said. “I don’t care if people are gay, and I’ve never seen any discrimination.”

While we have come a long way in recent years, discrimination, harassment and even violence against LGBT individuals is still a problem in this country.Studies suggest that the challenges LGBT people face because of their sexual orientation can prevent them from reaching their full social and academic potential in college.

A study from 2010 surveyed about 100 institutions and 5,000 college students. The study finds that about 25% of lesbian, gay and bisexual students and faculty experienced harassment while at college. 43 percent of gay, lesbian and bisexual people hid their sexual orientation to avoid intimidation. 39 percent of transgender and gender nonconforming people experienced harassment, and 63 percent said hid their sexual orientation.

These statistics become more personal when considering the story of Tyler Clementi (pictured on right), a 19-year-old college student from Rutgers University. His roommate, Dharun Ravi (left), filmed Clementi in a romantic encounter with another man, then posted it on the Internet. Clementi jumped off the George Washington Bridge on Sept. 22, 2010, just days after the video was posted online. Ravi is now facing a 15-count indictment, including a hate crime, and could face 5 to 10 years in prison.

Perhaps bullying of this intensity and scope isn’t widespread at CMU. But that shouldn’t stop students, faculty and administration from working to make CMU a LGBT safe zone, which could prevent future tragic stories of harassment, suicide or bullying occurrences at CMU. More importantly, LGBT students could feel accepted, which would allow them more successful and happier lives. A safe zone doesn’t only mean a lack of violence, but also active acceptance.

CMU has made strides in the recent months and years. As an attendee of many of the Pride Week activities, I loved being in an atmosphere of acceptance for all kinds of people (read more about my experiences during Pride Week here). Also, there has been movement on the issue of gender-neutral housing on campus.

But what can college students do to help on an every day basis? Many don’t have time to join a student organization or lobby student government or administration for changes, much less take action on what’s going on in the United States in terms of LGBT rights However, there are many simple things any college student, or any person, can do. Here’s a guide on how to help make a college campus a safe zone for LGBT people.

There are some very simple things you can do:
(adapted from a recent blogpost of mine about how violence can lead to hate)

• If your roommate or a classmate calls something ”gay” as an insult, tell them they’re being insensitive.
• If a student says they don’t care if LGBT people do their “thing,” as long as they don’t do it in front of him/her, say something like, ”Man, those straight people too. I really wish they wouldn’t do their thing in front of me.”
• If a friend says, “Hey, is that girl a lesbian?” Exclaim something like, ”I think that guy over there might be straight!” People make being LGBT abnormal, and they act like deviating from the heterosexual norm is something that should define a person’s entire identity. Really, it’s just one small part of a person, not their whole being.
• If you hear LGBT-bashing, be an ally and a friend. There’s not much you can do to change a hateful person’s mind, but you can be aware of those around this person. Don’t be afraid to say you disagree with the speaker. You never know who is listening and hurting as a result of this ignorance.
• If you are straight, recognize your heterosexual privilege. If you saw Tim Wise speak at CMU earlier this year, you know what I’m talking about.
• If you are a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender individual, reach out to people who might need your guidance.
• If you need guidance yourself, there are roommates, friends, and allies all around you. Make sure you get what you need.
• Participate in activities like the Day of Silence (or other activities like CMU’s “Queer Monologues,” or the Drag Show) to help raise awareness about this issue.
• Be aware of LGBT groups in on campus (such as Spectrum). If you have time, attend meetings or events.

Most importantly, make yourself available to those who need it. You never know who might be listening. Advertise that you’re an ally in subtle ways (like those above), and you will be a safe place for LGBT people.  Together we can make the entire campus a safer place.

So speak up, speak out, don’t stand for intolerance and actively fight for the acceptance of all people.

Want more from The Equality Chronicle?

• Read about the price of ignorance here, here, and here.
• Read about where LGBT equality stands in the US and abroad here, here, and here.

In Honor of Mother's Day

12-year-old wisdom can be greater than that of 49% of the population. This girl speaks emphatically in favor of gay marriage in 2009. She has two mothers.

This girl changed several legislators' minds with her testimony before the Vermont House. She was pivotal in gay marriage passing in Vermont, where the opposition tried to make the debate "all about the kids," and  she then helped this opposition with their "lack of information." She countered this argument by saying that it hurts kids to prevent their parents from getting married. 


Vermont was the first state to pass gay marriage legislatively.

Take some time today, in between your mom's flowers and foot rub, to think about those mothers who can't get married. It's time for equality, people.

Videos: The Kids Are Listening.

Some parents allow their sons to live as "Princess Boys." Some parents say anti-gay comments around their children. Some say nothing at all. What we say around kids affects them. It's important for adults to understand how being LGBTQ inclusive in everyday speech can have a positive impact on a child--and how derogatory comments and a lack of awareness can harm them. 

Along the same vein, we frequently hear the horror stories of teenagers being thrown out of homes because of their sexuality. We hear of LGBTQ homelessness, drug abuse, and suicide. We've heard of transgender youth being attacked brutally. 

Less often, we hear of those supportive parents. There are two inspring examples below. The first mother talks about her "Princess Boy," a gender nonconforming boy who is allowed to dress like a princess. 

The mother explains that her child's circumstance is not necessarily "gender confusion," but gender non-conformity, an important distinction. She explains that in society, difference leads to discomfort, but it shouldn't have to be that way.

Below is the story of parents who are allowing their child start a new school year with a new gender.

I can't emphasize enough the power of language. Be aware of the needs of kids around you. They may be LGBTQ in the future, or they may not. But they will, without a doubt, know someone who deals with these issues. What they are taught now will affect how they live their lives in their future.