Finally! Obama Endorses Marriage Equality

Today, something truly great happened. President Barack Obama has finally come out and said what many people already knew: he's in favor of marriage equality.

(For some giggles, check out Fox Nation's original response to this, although it has been recently altered slightly).

Why is this happening now? Well, one could argue that this was simply a long time coming. Of course, there are the arguments that this is incredibly political (to which I have to say: what does a President of the United States do that isn't political?)

However, I believe it's actually due to what I like to call THE BIDEN BOMB.

Watch this:

After Biden's comments, the Obama 2012 campaign at first backtracked Biden's statements. After a few more days of uproar by the LGBTQ community, Obama has finally come out in favor of lesbian and gay marriage rights himself.

I have seen so many comments and announcements that Obama is, yet again, using "words not actions." However, it's been nearly the opposite. At the same time that Obama was "evolving" on the issue according to his statements, his administration has:

• Announced that the Defense of Marriage Act would no longer be defended 
• Threw out Don't Ask Don't Tell, so gays and lesbians can now serve openly in the military.
• Continued to support the commitment for gay and lesbian human rights around the globe.

So, what does Obama's statement mean in context of the rest of his administration? Obama stopped short of the full endorsement I had been hoping for, and I have several issues with his statement. And, it's clear that this is the perfect political storm for this to happen, with "gay money" supposedly replacing "Wall Street money," the Romney campaign's completely egregious stomping on gay people earlier this month, the Biden Bomb, and North Carolina's very recent approval of a ban on same-sex marriage all create the political storm that almost required Obama come forward and say something.

And he did say something. It doesn't matter if it's politically motivated, and it doesn't matter much that it's imperfect. He said something.

What I've come to realize is that for loving, same-sex couples, the denial of marriage equality means that, in their eyes and the eyes of their children, they are still considered less than full citizens.

Even at my own dinner table, when I look at Sasha and Malia, who have friends whose parents are same-sex couples, I know it wouldn't dawn on them that their friends' parents should be treated differently.

So I decided it was time to affirm my personal belief that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry.

Words are so powerful. They are used in campaign ads by both sides to either demonize or idolize politicians. They are used to bully. They are used to give hope and inspire. Words give movements power. They start things and they end things. They are used on both sides to rally around or against an issue. 

So, let's rally. 

Obama's administration has been taking seemingly small actions to further LGBTQ equality for nearly four years, and I've been blogging about them for over a year now. However, until today, there has been no rallying point. People I know are in favor of LGBTQ rights have no idea what Obama has already done because the administration hasn't been willing to broadcast it. I had to read between the lines when Obama slightly hinted at being in favor of gay marriage over a year ago.

Today, he actually said it. People are reading and watching and discussing and rallying. This is what I've been waiting for. Movements around the globe will be energized by having Obama's support.

Grain of salt time: what Obama has said--it's not perfect. And it's dangerous to take these words and assume change has been achieved. Progress has been made, but Obama still says that states should be allowed to make their own decisions, like North Carolina just did. North Carolina is the last of the Southern states to approve a ban on same-sex marriage. Do you know what this reminds me of?

When states were allowed to vote about whether or not people who looked a certain way could be enslaved or not. This is not the same issue, but it's similar. The rights of the minority cannot be decided by an oppressive majority. I urge Obama to jump to the right side of history instead of tentatively stepping over the line. A politician with so much at stake, I understand that he actually has to be reelected in order to take further action on this issue. Nevertheless, I believe that with more than half the country supporting lesbian and gay marriage, it's time for Obama to make that leap. 

So let's rally not around Obama's statements, but around the promise they hold. And let's continue pushing for some change we can believe in.

Video: Gays Are Nazis

I've been called a socialist, communist, Nazi, prostitute, fascist, dumb blonde, drug dealer, and brainwashed teenager before (mostly via online anonymous comments on articles I've written like this). How have I elicited such anger from my online peers? I'm a liberal leaning person living in a community with foundations in the far right, and though I try not to be bombastic or forceful, I'm definitely not ashamed.

I'm not surprised that people leave online comments like the above. It's not right, but it's the nature of the internet. Anyone online with an opinion of any kind is targeted.

This video, however, did surprise me. Bryan Fischer, a prominent leader in a national family organization, makes ridiculous claims against "the homosexuals." This is no anonymous comment. This is an individual who is followed by many other people. This person, therefore, has a greater ability to hurt others, and he is wielding this power.

(via Right Wing Watch)

"The homosexual agenda is just like Islam: there is no room for dissent, there is no room to leave, once you're in, you can't leave. Muslims won't let you leave, homosexuals won't let you leave - if you leave, they claim you're faking it, so there's no way out. There's no freedom of choice, there's no freedom of religion - if you have religious views about homosexual behavior, you are squashed.

I mean, ladies and gentlemen, they are Nazis. Homosexual activists, when it comes to freedom of speech, are Nazis. When it comes to freedom of religion, they are Nazis. There is no room in their world dissent, there is no room in their world for disagreement, there is no room in their world for criticism. You criticize homosexual behavior, they tag you as a bigot and a homophobe and then they got to work to silence you just like the Roman Catholic Church did in the days of Galileo - it's no different; it's the Spanish Inquisition all over again.

Ladies and gentlemen, they are Nazis. Do not be under any illusions about what homosexual activists will do with your freedoms and your religion if they have the opportunity. They'll do the same thing to you that the Nazis did to their opponents in Nazi Germany."

Bryan Fischer, the man spouting off that homosexual activists are Nazis bent on taking over the world, is the Director of Issues Analysis for the American Family Association (an anti-gay organization identified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center). Fischer is known for saying that no mosques should be built in the US (read this article at your own risk of elevated blood pressure). He is also notorious for comments and more comments connecting homosexuals to Hitler to Don't Ask Don't Tell (read more about Hitler's sexuality here).

There is so much wrong with his above statement, I almost don't even know where to begin.

One thing is clear to me, thought. Bryan Fischer has not known the people I have. My sister, with her partner and two daughters, they're Nazis? The nice gay couple that lived down the street from me, together for decades, Nazis? A gay friend of a friend who is joining the Navy to fight for his country, a Nazi?


Really?


Bryan Fischer said, "Do not be under any illusions about what homosexual activists will do with your freedoms and your religion if they have the opportunity." No, Fischer. I just have one thing to say to you:

It is not your rights they're after. They just want their own.

And guess what else? "They" are a part of "us." "They" are people - grandmothers, couples, fathers, brothers, sisters, uncles, mothers, neighbors, friends - just like anyone else. And "we" all deserve equal rights.

The Queer Monologues at CMU and Straight Privilege

Tonight was my kick-off of Pride Week. And I have many reasons to be proud.


The Queer Monologues is "a production of works created by queer and queer positive writers." Individuals affiliated with CMU's Gay and Lesbian Programs performed in Plachta Auditorium tonight at Central Michigan University.


As a student at Central Michigan University, I'm sorry to admit that I haven't joined any of the LGBTQ organizations on campus. I've made it my number one goal next semester to join the Gay Straight Alliance here, called Spectrum. After The Queer Monologues, I'm more determined than ever to be involved in this active community on campus.


The Queer Monologues was a funny, at times tear-jerking, thought-provoking, and educational experience. Topics ranged from the difficulties of being gender nonconforming, bisexual, transgender, and also the difficulties of coming out in general.

The performers emphasized that LGBTQ individuals are all around us. For example, a gay man may live in San Fransisco, but a gay man could also live in a small town with his partner and children--even in my hometown of Holland, MI, no matter how much some residents would like to suppress this "lifestyle." These LGBTQ individuals do not necessarily follow stereotypes. There was a list of dozens and dozens of famous people that are or were LGBTQ (one in particular surprised me).


One performer discussed one specific difficulty of being transgender: her voice. That constant reminder of her past that hormones could not change.


Another talked about LGBTQ teen suicide. About society's inescapable intolerance of who she was. I don't know about other audience members, but tears were in my eyes.


I identified with one performer in particular. She was a straight ally. She talked about the difficulties of being a straight ally, difficulties I have experienced myself all through high school, and sometimes in college.


As I was walking back home after the Queer Monologues, I remembered a time my sister was walking with me in our hometown, Holland. She went to hug a friend goodbye on a street corner, and a car slowed down and the driver yelled crassly, "Get a room!" He assumed based on stereotypes that my sister was a lesbian. I remember having blood rush to my face and I had a mind to chase after the car and tell him what-for. I remember my sister shrugging with a little embarrassment, saying, "Forget about it." I know she has experienced many worse things than this, and has had the courage to share it with Holland's city counsel in this open letter (Here's the link again. And again. And again, bigger. Read it!)


That's the last thing I could do: forget it? I never have.


Doesn't everyone deserve to be able to walk down the street and hug a friend?


I don't have to worry about what people think when I talk about my significant other. I don't have to worry about what to call my significant other. Someday, I will have the right to visit my husband in the hospital, and the right to make important decisions. I can have children without anyone else having a say in it. I could adopt a child if I want to. I was never harassed in high school. I can hold my boyfriend's hand in public without a second glance from passersby. I know my family will accept me. I don't need announce my sexuality to anyone else; it is assumed. My friends, roommates, family members, and others are all comfortable with my sexual orientation. Nobody assumes I'm a pedophile. Nobody thinks children need to be protected from me. My children will see representations of their family in children's books and school curriculum. I am not told I "must be confused" or that my relationship is sinful. My church doesn't discuss whether my relationship will send me to Hell or not. There are TV shows or movies available with people of heterosexual orientation kissing or even having sex without it being a big deal. I am not defined or grouped or put in a box because of my sexual orientation. My sexual orientation won't be a problem at any workplace or classroom. I don't have to face hate because of one facet of my identity. I can get married. 

I don't need to be worried about being harassed on the street corner.


I have straight privilege. I am the heterosexual norm.


So, being a straight ally does have costs. Occasionally, people assume I'm a lesbian. Occasionally, I may be discriminated against because of my views. Twice, I received letters explaining why I'm going to Hell (because of this newspaper column).


But I don't experience 1% of the harassment, discrimination, oppression, or disadvantage that LGBTQ people do.


Sometimes, people wonder why I get so worked up about an issue that "doesn't even apply" to me.


Doesn't apply to me? I'm fighting for my future children and grandchildren and for my cousins and my sister and my friends. I'm fighting because I don't want another child to feel marginalized because of one small part of his or her identity. I'm fighting because I desperately want to prevent more of the ubiquitous teen LGBTQ suicides, and I wish I had been able to be an ally for those who needed one but didn't have one in the past. 

I'm an ally, and I'm proud of it. That's what Pride Week is all about. I'm proud of my sister, my friends, my acquaintances, and I'm proud to stand with them. You should be too. 

[My sister, me, and my mom in Oregon]

(Google Peggy McIntosh to read more about privilege)

DOMA To Be Repealed? What Does It All Mean?

For those who don't know much about DOMA, it's the Defense Of Marriage Act signed by President Bill Clinton in 1996. In the law, the federal government defines marriage as between a man and a woman. What this means, essentially, is that no state can be required to recognize a same-sex marriage from another state.  Someone married in California (before Proposition 8) does not have to be recognized by Michigan, which has a law restricting lesbians and gays from marrying.

"DOMA, the law declared unconstitutional by both President Obama and Attorney General Holder, as well as two federal court judges in several different cases, bans the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages, and allows states to not allow these marriages either."

A few weeks ago, the Obama Administration announced that DOMA would no longer be defended in the courts by the Justice Department (been there, discussed that). Obama was essentially saying that DOMA was viewed as unconstitutional in his administration's eyes. This was a big leap forward for gay rights in this country, because it meant there was finally a supportive president in the White House. Many people had found Obama to be MIA on this issue, and this was proof otherwise.

But more recently, House Speaker John Boehner and the Republicans have taken actions for the legal defense of DOMA (also been there, also discussed that). They basically overturned what Obama decided.

Well, now Democrats are fighting back again.

Last Wednesday, the March 16, Sen. Diane Feinstein has introduced a bill that would repeal DOMA, called the "Respect for Marriage Act." It has 17 cosponsors.

On the same day, Rep. Jerrold Nadler introduced an equivalent bill in the the House. It has 102 cosponsors. This is not Nadler's first attempt, but he hopes this time it will be a successful one.

What's next? Well, two things. One, we have to wait. Two, everyone should be calling their representatives and senators and telling them to vote for the Respect for Marriage Act.

Here's where to find your representative's number. 


Here's where to find your senators' number.

For marriage equality! Let's do this together!

Is the Tide Turning?

Obama announced that he believes the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional, and that his administration would no longer defend it.

House Republicans have decided to continue to defend the Defense of Marriage Act. 

Maryland was on the road to being the next state to allow gay marriage.

The bill was tabled until 2012 without a vote because it didn't have enough support. It was killed for this year. 

These are just a few examples. I was feeling very optimistic a few weeks ago, before the news above was apparent. This video from MSNBC summarizes well:

Yes, there are steps forward. But every attempt of forward movement seems to be countered with a push backward, frequently coming, it seems, from Republicans.

There will be a post about bullying coming later this week, but it will suffice to say here that the issues of equal rights and equal acceptance are more important than ever. 

I'm writing this while feeling discouraged after reading about Exodus International, an organization known to try and cure homosexuality, has an iphone application to better reach people with their message.

This post is somewhat of a pep talk to myself, and I hope for others as well. We are making progress. We have an administration in the White House that is on our side, if it has been a bit slow to act. The public is increasingly becoming more supportive of gay rights, although whether there is a majority who support gay marriage is debatable.

Why is there this public shift? It's because people are becoming more willing to talk about this. LGBTQ issues are increasingly becoming more public, and less taboo. The other day, I heard someone say "That's so gay" and I was ready to jump in and explain why that was an inappropriate remark. To my surprise, two other people beat me to it. 

That's just a small anecdote, but still, I see change happening around us. I see how Hope is Ready and Holland is Ready from my hometown are making progress. I see my friends and family becoming more vocal on this issue. I see the change. Tangible legal change is slower to come, but I'm beginning to see a social change.

And social change will be the foundation for the legal changes I and many others so desire. 

The key component to further change is to not be discouraged by the steps backward, but rather to use these disappointments to spur on this movement.

And it's important not to forget the progress we've already made.

My advice: be active and be vocal. It's going to take all of our efforts to achieve equal rights and acceptance. 

I'm Calling Bull

We're in for a long road on this one, folks.


When it comes to discussing LGBT things with children, parents are up in arms.

[Image from here]


I recently posted about Tennessee's proposed "Don't Say Gay Bill." The bill would propose that the only sexuality that could be discussed in elementary and middle school classrooms is heterosexuality. Why? State Senator Stacey Campfield (pictured below) says it's all about "age appropriateness." Confusion is already rife at this age. Why confuse them more with discussion of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning topics?

I have a big, huge, monstrous, gigantic problem here. 

Several problems, actually.

First, there is a huge gap in the logic. Not talking about something means less confusion! Of course! Why didn't we think of this before! Not educating means more education! The paradox is clear to me now!


I'm calling bull. 


You know what a lack of education leads to? Ignorance. You know what ignorance leads to? Fear and misunderstanding and impersonalization. What does this lead to? Bullying, taunting, isolation, abuse, marginalization. 


Assault. Suicide. Murder.


Does this seem too abstract? Too unsupported? Too "liberal-on-a-rant"-esque? Well, let's refer to perhaps the most well-known education organization in the United States. The NEA shares in their 2009 GLBTQ report that such students face bullying and harassment that leads to lower grades, dropouts, hostility at home, homelessness, anxiety, depression, higher rates of drug and alcohol abuse, and suicide. The report says that school employees often ignore homophobia in the classroom and around the school. Millions of individuals are victims of bullies, and millions more are the bullies themselves. There are more statistics and facts in the report. Check it out.


Doesn't seem like a big problem? Well, see here:


"Gay bullying has come into the national spotlight the past four years with cases of suicides from Ohio to Florida involving students as young as middle school age."


As young as middle school age.


This bill would restrict discussions and dialogue about LGBTQ issues to the students that need them most. This leads to marginalization of youth, which can be deadly. 


Children's lives are at stake. 


My sister experienced bullying and discrimination all her life while living in our conservative hometown of Holland, Mich. She wrote an open letter about it that can be read here. 


In 2008, Lawrence King, a fifteen year old from Oxnard, California was murdered while at school. 


There are so many more examples. I've seen it with my own eyes. 


Ignorance is out there, and it's having real life-and-death implications.


Here's another bit of faulty logic in this Tennessee bill. Proponents of this bill are worried about sexually confusing children with discussions of LGBTQ issues. Sure, age-appropriateness is an issue.  The details of heterosexual and homosexual sex should not by any means be taught to elementary students. The senator is missing something very important here, though.


Perhaps it's wrong to discuss personal sexual orientation with second graders. But what about families with two mommies or two daddies? Is it okay to talk about homosexual parents? How does it feel to have your family labelled as wrong, something illegal to be discussed in school, a marginalized "against the norm" entity? An elementary child has the right to see himself or herself represented in children's books and the like. Families with one mom, two moms, one dad, two dads, one mom and one dad and a step dad, foster parents, parents of different races, and so on should be represented! Check out the book Heather Has Two Mommies by Lesléa Newman. Not only is it a very age appropriate book, but also one of the most challenged and censored children's books. 


Perhaps it's wrong to discuss personal sexual orientation with first graders. But is it wrong to discuss gender non-conformity? What about the boy who gets teased for dancing ballet, or the girl who is taunted for loving Nascar? Where do we draw the line? Check out the book The Sissy Duckling by Harvey Fierstein. Is this book about homosexuality? Would this book be banned under this law?


The Senator is completely ignoring alternative families and gender non-conformity. 


Additionally, middle school, containing some of the most confusing years of a person's life, can be key to educating about different types of love and the acceptance for it. This is where discussions of homosexuality are most important, I think. 


Just as people of color have been marginalized by being put in an "other" category, LGBTQ individuals and alternative families have been labelled as something "other" than the norm. Just like there is a White privilege, there is a heterosexual privilege as well. Heterosexism is a big problem. We have what anti-racist speaker Tim Wise calls a "the privilege of obliviousness." 


We have a long, long way to go in the fight for equal rights. But perhaps we have even farther to go for simple acceptance. 


There are perfectly age-appropriate ways to discuss homosexuality in elementary and middle school. There are perfect ways, even, to integrate it into the curriculum. 


But here's what I gather: it seems, and I may be wrong here, that the Senator and I are operating under different worldviews, different assumptions. Senator Campfield sees homosexuality as something wrong, something that needs to be restricted, something that we should protect our youth from. 


I, however, see my lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning friends and family members and complete strangers not as something adverse to society, but just as people, people who happen to have a different sexual orientation from me. 


If Senator Campfield had been taught that lesson in school, maybe we wouldn't be in such a mess. 


I know this has been a long, angry-word-filled post. But honestly, I'm sick of this. I'm sick inside about this marginalization of people. I'm sick of the bullying, the suicides, the ignorance. And I'm sick of this bull. And I will not be quiet about it.


Here's where you can find contact information for Senator Campfield. 

More info:


This fight to be inclusive of LGBTQ people and discussions in the school system is just at the start:


"Polls show that the public’s stance against same-sex marriage is softening, and education about gay issues has expanded dramatically in recent years around the country, but experts suggest that the battle over what should and should not be a part of public school curriculums has just begun."


The debate isn't limited to Tennessee. Check out what's going on in California.


I would like to thank my peer, Amanda Shepard, for her contributions to this post. She and I are doing a research project on LGBT themes in children's literature in the elementary classroom, and through her I became aware of the book Heather Has Two Mommies.