Facebook Relationship Statuses-It's Complicated

There used to be six relationship categories on Facebook—single, in a relationship, engaged, married, it’s complicated, and in an open relationship.

 (Image from here)

However, there has been one neglected group of people. Gays and lesbians who live in states where gay marriage is not recognized have not, up to this point, had an applicable Facebook relationship status.

Until now.

Facebook has revealed several new relationship status options, including widowed, separated, divorced, in a domestic partnership, and in a civil union. 

 I asked a few of my friends to try out the new statuses to see how they looked. 

Step forward or step backward? 

In my opinion, this is a step:

Having more options on Facebook is a good thing. If a gay or lesbian couple would like to use a new label, then great. However, if they would rather list themselves as married, that’s also great. I think the key idea here is option.

Many don’t agree with me. Some—including blogger “cafemom”—think it could lead to further harassment or online bullying.

Others point out that the separate-but-equal idea of civil unions is akin to racial segregation.

Still others say that this is not enough. For example, Facebook makes a user choose a gender—and the only options are male or female.

Of course, there’s the old argument that relationship statuses on Facebook are complicated (ha! It’s complicated!) and overly drama-filled in and of themselves.

Do we want marriage equality? Yes. Do we have it in the real world? No. But having more cyber options could allow individuals a choice as to what relationship best states what they wish their Facebook public to know.

Plus, more Facebook relationship status drama for us all to follow—er, roll our eyes at.

Goodbye "Defense" of Marriage Act

Step Forward.

I, like everyone else in this movement, was a bit perplexed and even frustrated about how slow the Obama administration was moving in terms to LGBT rights.

Even MSNBC news host Rachel Maddow doubted Don't Ask Don't Tell would be removed.

And now?

The government is no longer defending the 1996 defense of marriage act. 

Step Forward. Leap Forward.

"The Department of Justice has just announced that it will cease defending the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act. The administration has determined that the act is unconstitutional. The move is a huge step for the gay and lesbian civil rights movement. The law is the last major federal statute that openly discriminates against gays and lesbians, following the repeal late last year of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell ban on gays in the military."

Yes, we still have a long way to go. The move technically only affects those who  live in the five states that allow gay marriage, or those married in California before Prop. 8. 

 Attorney General Eric Holder (picture below) sent a letter to Congress indicating that the the Dept. of Justice won't defend the act in two upcoming lawsuits. 

What does all of this mean?

The Obama administration has taken the position that discrimination against gays and lesbians is unconstitutional. 

It's the first time the US government has taken this position. 

While the the administration will no longer defend the law's constitutionality in court, 

Holder said that the administration would continue to enforce the act unless and until Congress repeals it, or a court delivers a “definitive verdict against the law’s constitutionality.”

Like I said, the fight is far from over. But this, my friends, is a milestone. It's one of many, but here it is. Let's be thankful, but at the same time, realize we're in for the long haul. 

Is this the change we can believe in?

Or should we be seeing more action on this issue?

(image from here)

Steps Forward and Steps Backward

There’s so much going on with this movement that sometimes it’s hard to keep up, even for me, and I pay intense attention. Here’s a news round-up of recent events in the fight for LGBTQ equality. While there is much activity to increase equality, it’s important to remember that 30 states have constitutional amendments banning gay marriage.

“The flurry of activity nationwide has activists on both sides of the gay marriage debate encouraged that 2011 will be a year of gains for them.”

An interesting fact: North Carolina is the only state in the South that does not have an amendment banning gay marriage. Five states and the District of Colobmia permit same-sex marriage.

 [click to enlarge]

MARRIAGE EQUALITY UPDATES

FORWARD: Hawaii lawmakers gave approval to civil unions last Wednesday, and the Democratic governor is expected to sign it into law.

FORWARD: The California Supreme Court agreed to take on, but has decided to delay until September, a Proposition 8 appeal.

BACKWARD: The Indiana House passed an anti-gay marriage amendment to the state’s constitution by a vote of 70-26. However, the founder of the LGBT blog "The Bilerico Project," Bil Browning, has said he will reveal “dirty laundry of Indiana lawmakers who voted in favor on the message.”

BACKWARD: There is a bill in Wyoming, where legally married same-sex couples (married out of state) will not be recognized.

FORWARD: In Washington, a bill to legalize gay marriage was introduced last Monday. Domestic partnerships are already legal in the state.

FORWARD: The Maryland Senate held marriage bill hearings last Thursday.  The committee approved the legalization of gay marriage with a 7-4 vote.

FORWARD: A New Hampshire poll of adults indicates that almost two-thirds are opposed to ending marriage equality in the state.

OTHER EQUALITY UPDATES

FORWARD: Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick (D) signed an exeutive order on the 17^th which effectively bans discrimination in state employment against transgender workers.

FORWARD: Target created a policy committee to oversee the company’s political activities. This comes after widespread condemnation of their financial support for anti-gay politicians.

FORWARD: Judge Sabrina McKenna was confirmed to the Hawaii Supreme Court this past week. She is the first openly LGBT person to serve on the court.

FORWARD? Lady GaGa's new single, "Born This Way," is being hailed as the new gay anthem. It it? Should it be? Does it matter if LGBTQ is in the genes or not? Can this nature versus nurture debate ever be settled?

Well, at least the tune is catchy. 

Another Video From Iowa

This time, an 80 year old grandmother talks about her experiences with her gay son.

Watch.

An Inspirational Teenager

Zach Wahls defends gay marriage in Iowa. His thesis? His family is not different from any other family.
It truly is an inspirational video.

"The sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effects on the content of my character."

Uganda and Gay Rights-Unbelievable Video

This video illustrates the extent to which hate speech agains gays has progressed in Uganda. Please watch. It's disturbing, but important.

The Chinese Homosexual Conundrum

Ever heard of a fake marriage market? Me either. It's a Chinese phenomenon. Gays and lesbians come to one place in order to find someone--of the opposite gender--to get married to. An expert in this article from Slate contends that 80% of China's homosexual population marries heterosexually. In China's family-centric culture, marrying and producing an heir is of utmost importance.

Here's a quote concerning the secrecy of the marriage market:

Precautions are necessary for an event like this. Though there are an estimated 30 million to 40 million gay people in China—there has been no official count—even simple actions such as trying to access Wikipedia's "LGBT" page often result in a "This webpage is not available" message. Chinese society has adopted a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. A 2007 survey by Li Yinhe found that 70 percent of Chinese people think homosexuality is either "a little" or "completely" wrong, and only 7.5 percent of respondents said they knew a gay person.


There is a growing problem with "homowives," a woman who is married to a gay man. It is estimated that there 16 to 25 million women are in this predicament. Because of the social stigma surrounding homosexuality, the issue is not discussed and the problems are not addressed. 


However, many LGBT Chinese individuals hope for change, albeit the slow kind, as indicated by this article. This is another example where talking about things, bringing LGBT issues out into the open, can really make a difference, especially in the long term. 

[Chinese men, mostly married, dance in Shanghai]